Same Sex Marriage

The State of Maryland was very close to passing a same sex marriage law. The State Senate had passed it, and the House of Delegates was evenly divided. Ultimately the bill failed without a vote ever being taken. The powers that were arrayed against it emerged victorious. Many of these powers were of course the Christian Churches which rallied against the bill. Not all Christian voices were opposed mind you, but there were sufficient numbers to make the difference. Interestingly, some legislative members who were initially sponsors of the bill wound up voting against it, illustrating the power of the opposition. It is also true that passage would likely have triggered a referendum where the opposition forces may well have prvailed as well.

My question is, are we a better country today, now that this bill has failed? Is Maryland a better state? Have we averted some terrible calamity by defeating this bill? Has the institution of Marriage some how been saved or strengthened by this bill going down to defeat?

In my own Catholic Church we heard from the pulpit the week before the vote that if this bill passed "Marriage as we know it would be destroyed". This statement is basically ludicrous on its face. I wonder how my marriage or your marriage is diminished by this bill. Are we somehow less married? Do two guys or two girls exchanging rings harm the rest of us in any tangible way? I am again forced to wonder why it is acceptable for the forces opposed to this bill to use any means or any rhetoric they choose to attack this bill with no regard for the actual facts of the issue, no concern for fairness, and no attempt to even put forward realistic arguments.

Generally the argument is couched in religious terms. The Bible says this is wrong and we have no choice but to oppose this law. I could argue the point on religious and scriptural grounds. Clearly many Christian groups have found this change acceptable. The Bible is amenable to varying interpretations, and anyone who claims to have the only acceptable interpretation is perhaps a tad arrogant. Has God provided them with some special knowledge or 'gnosis' that the rest of us don't have? Such argumentation however, is futile because those in opposition believe they have the truth and are not interested in listening to other points of view.

I would say to those sincerely opposed, just as the law said, go ahead and continue to follow your religious convictions. Certainly in this country you are entitled to them. Live your lives as you choose, and refuse to accept the rights of gays to marry. What you do not have a right to do, though, is to compel everyone else to live according to your rules and convictions. Nobody is hurting you or forcing you to give up your religious convictions. No Church is being asked to perform gay marriages or recognize them in any way. Just look at states that have legalized such marriages and nothing has really changed. Couples get married and divorced as before. Marriage continues to be assailed in many ways such as by divorce, couples living together etc., but gay marriage is not among these culprits. If anything gay marriage serves to enhance the value and importance of the institution. In any case it is a secular event and not a religious one, except where certain religious groups may choose to bless such a union, which is also their right.

Isn't it time to discard the animosity that too often exists toward others in today's America? No matter the issue, others are quick to condemn. If you are not like them you must be punished, eliminated, or defeated. Whether the issue is gay marriage, immigration, detainees at Guantanamo, Muslims in general, public employee workers and unions, etc. we are quick to condemn. True, 9/11 created legitimate fear among the populace, but this is not the America I know. The determination to bash everyone who is different is beneath us as Americans and doesn't make us safer or stronger. Our strength comes from all Americans coooperating together without the current divisiveness. All of us and all of our talents are needed regardless of race, creed, national origin, if we are to continue to make progress as a nation.

So what does the future hold for gay marriage and many other controversial issues. The conventional wisdom seems to say that the changes are inevitable. Attitudes are changing and it is only a matter of time until laws change as well. I am not as sure of this positive trajectory. It is true that young people have very different attitudes and as us older folks die off change is bound to happen. I would agree that changes in behavior have already occurred and are likely to continue to evolve. It also seems clear that on many of these social issues a majority of folks have already developed positions that would be considered progessive.

However, the problem is due to the fact that everyone does not vote. If everyone voted the Congress would look different today. The power of an entrenched minority is very great. Their ability to frame issues to favor their position has been demonstrated over and over again. The opposition is fired up and the rhetoric of hate and division too often triumphs over reasoned common sense and thoughtful efforts to move the debate forward.

Frankly I think our best hope is for Christians to become more Christian. Especially at this time of Lent if we could remind ourselves that Jesus doesn't choose which of us he likes based on how closely we conform to his way of thinking. The incredible truth is that Jesus loves every one of us, regardless of our religion, our behavior, our race, and yes even our sexual orientation. After all, he made all of us. And somewhere in that Bible I believe it says something about loving your enemies, and loving your neighbor as yourself.